Song: Mother
Written and composed by Tim Penrod
Sung by Laurie Hansen
Copyright Tim Penrod 1999 (c). All rights reserved.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Happy Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mothers of the world. I wrote this song for my mother just over 10 years ago. I thought of my brother just younger than me when I wrote it, because he always thought he was such a difficult child to raise. He has now passed on, and I'm posting it now for my mother. Many of the pictures are of my brother who has passed on, mixed with several of my own wife and children now.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Helping Others
What is your opinion about the way we should help others we care about?
When someone is drowning, figuratively speaking, should we:
a) Throw them a life-line and pull them in?
b) Encourage them by telling them to swim to shore?
c) Paddle out and save them?
d) Let fate take its course--whatever happens in meant to be...no reason to intervene?
e) Pretend we don't see them?
What if they are drowning every day? Same answer, or does it change?
When someone is drowning, figuratively speaking, should we:
a) Throw them a life-line and pull them in?
b) Encourage them by telling them to swim to shore?
c) Paddle out and save them?
d) Let fate take its course--whatever happens in meant to be...no reason to intervene?
e) Pretend we don't see them?
What if they are drowning every day? Same answer, or does it change?
Monday, January 17, 2011
Guilt and roles
I'll go ahead and confess. We pay someone to do our lawn care. Over the years, we've canceled the service several times, resulting in feeble attempts to effectively carry out the mowing, pruning, fertilizing, raking and all else involved in keeping the yard maintained.
Why have we canceled? To save money? Not really. The money spent on lawn care is a value well worth the cost, in my opinion. To have a nicer looking yard? Partially. While I do a decent job with mowing, I've been known to kill more than one tree or bush in my lifetime from improper pruning and/or feeding.
The real reason I cancel the lawn service periodically? Because I tell myself I should be doing it myself. It's my job. Or at least it is the job of my teenage boys. Some of you are probably nodding your head in agreement. No doubt I could use the calorie burning associated with doing my own lawn care. And my teenagers definitely could use the productive activity.
However, my point is not to argue whether or not lawn care makes sense financially, or whether it is right or wrong, in and of itself, to have someone else take care of your yard. The thing that irritates me is that as long as I pay someone else to care for my yard, somewhere inside, at least subconsciously, I feel guilty because someone else is doing what I believe am supposed to be doing. I feel that I personally should be the one who mows the grass, prunes the bushes, etc.
But you know what is funny? I don't feel that way about vegetables. While I like gardening, I do not have an enormous sense of guilt whenever I buy produce at the grocery store, as if I should have planted, cultivated and harvested each of them myself. Sure, it would be a good experience. And taste good. And be a great family activity. And be economical. But I really am proud of myself when I put produce into my shopping cart instead of processed food, and I feel very little, if any, shame that I have not grown all of them myself.
And I do not feel guilty that I use an automatic washing machine to wash my clothes rather than cleaning them by hand, although I can see that hand washing would burn more calories than machine washing and would make me feel like I am working hard. But do I have any guilt when I throw my whites into a washing machine? Nope. Again, I'm literally proud that I am at least doing the laundry with my automatic machine.
Same for the dishes--absolutely no guilt over using an automatic dishwasher instead of doing them by hand. Or for utilizing the convenience of air conditioning, toasters, vacuum cleaners, and numberless other conveniences.
Although I was not alive at the time, I can guess that many of the conveniences that I take for granted and use without the slightest bit of guilt probably caused significant dilemmas for a number of people when they were first introduced. I can just hear the conversation: "Well, Joe may feel right about using that new flushing toilet in his home, but real men still use out houses."
It is interesting, though, that the list of which items are simply luxuries that only the most spoiled and lazy of us would consider using verses those that are a reasonable indulgence varies person to person. I am certain that there are many people who would not have a twinge of guilt over having someone else take care of their yard. But I do.
I also feel guilty when I use those floss pick devices that save time instead of using regular dental floss and doing it the "real" way. I really do (even though I continue to buy and use them). I tell myself that I ought to be disciplined enough to floss my teeth without having to pay the extra money for the easy-to-use floss devices.
And I feel guilty when someone else teaches my children piano lessons, because I know how to play the piano and am pretty sure I could teach it quite well. Forget for a moment whether or not my children would respond well to me teaching them piano. Either way, I feel guilty when I drop them off at someone else's house for piano lessons rather than teaching them myself.
I could make a rather lengthy list. One side would feature the things that I do for convenience that I feel guilty about and the other side would list the things that cause me little, if any guilt. I'll bet I could even rate each item to reflect how guilty (or not) I feel about each one.
But your list would be different.
Assume for a moment that money were not an issue (because otherwise it makes it too easy to argue that you should do everything the hard way, including picking up all the particles of dust off the carpet by hand rather than using a broom and dustpan (like my grandmother used to do) or a vacuum cleaner). What things would you still feel guilty about having something or someone else do for you, even if you could afford it? A Housekeeper? Personal chef? Robot that sweeps your floors? A grocery store that assembles and delivers your order to you rather than you shopping in person? Professional movers rather than lifting boxes yourself? Treadmill rather than running in the great outdoors?
Now, find a friend and try to defend each of the items you listed that you feel guilty about. Use your best arguments, like "my mother always did it that way", or "it is my role", or "why pay someone else when I can do it", or "I need to work harder".
How did you do? Were you convincing in your arguments?
Even when the tradeoff makes sense in terms of what it costs verses what you get, why do you still feel guilty (be sure to consider that both "cost" and "what you get" include things such as time and quality of life, not just money)?
For me, the cost of a vacuum cleaner and the cost to run and maintain it are more than offset by the time savings that allow me to do other things I need or want to do. Why don't I feel the same way about a lawn care service? The big realization is it is a construct of my mind, based on my life experiences, and has little, if anything, to do with the lawn care itself.
Could any of us benefit from considering some of the tradeoffs that may be tied to letting go a few of those "shoulds" or "musts" on our lists? Perhaps it would be worthwhile to re-examine the value of having more time to spend with our families, with friends, furthering our educations, reading a good book, or any of the many other things that so easily suffer in our world of over-scheduling and constant stimulation.
Why have we canceled? To save money? Not really. The money spent on lawn care is a value well worth the cost, in my opinion. To have a nicer looking yard? Partially. While I do a decent job with mowing, I've been known to kill more than one tree or bush in my lifetime from improper pruning and/or feeding.
The real reason I cancel the lawn service periodically? Because I tell myself I should be doing it myself. It's my job. Or at least it is the job of my teenage boys. Some of you are probably nodding your head in agreement. No doubt I could use the calorie burning associated with doing my own lawn care. And my teenagers definitely could use the productive activity.
However, my point is not to argue whether or not lawn care makes sense financially, or whether it is right or wrong, in and of itself, to have someone else take care of your yard. The thing that irritates me is that as long as I pay someone else to care for my yard, somewhere inside, at least subconsciously, I feel guilty because someone else is doing what I believe am supposed to be doing. I feel that I personally should be the one who mows the grass, prunes the bushes, etc.
But you know what is funny? I don't feel that way about vegetables. While I like gardening, I do not have an enormous sense of guilt whenever I buy produce at the grocery store, as if I should have planted, cultivated and harvested each of them myself. Sure, it would be a good experience. And taste good. And be a great family activity. And be economical. But I really am proud of myself when I put produce into my shopping cart instead of processed food, and I feel very little, if any, shame that I have not grown all of them myself.
And I do not feel guilty that I use an automatic washing machine to wash my clothes rather than cleaning them by hand, although I can see that hand washing would burn more calories than machine washing and would make me feel like I am working hard. But do I have any guilt when I throw my whites into a washing machine? Nope. Again, I'm literally proud that I am at least doing the laundry with my automatic machine.
Same for the dishes--absolutely no guilt over using an automatic dishwasher instead of doing them by hand. Or for utilizing the convenience of air conditioning, toasters, vacuum cleaners, and numberless other conveniences.
Although I was not alive at the time, I can guess that many of the conveniences that I take for granted and use without the slightest bit of guilt probably caused significant dilemmas for a number of people when they were first introduced. I can just hear the conversation: "Well, Joe may feel right about using that new flushing toilet in his home, but real men still use out houses."
It is interesting, though, that the list of which items are simply luxuries that only the most spoiled and lazy of us would consider using verses those that are a reasonable indulgence varies person to person. I am certain that there are many people who would not have a twinge of guilt over having someone else take care of their yard. But I do.
I also feel guilty when I use those floss pick devices that save time instead of using regular dental floss and doing it the "real" way. I really do (even though I continue to buy and use them). I tell myself that I ought to be disciplined enough to floss my teeth without having to pay the extra money for the easy-to-use floss devices.
And I feel guilty when someone else teaches my children piano lessons, because I know how to play the piano and am pretty sure I could teach it quite well. Forget for a moment whether or not my children would respond well to me teaching them piano. Either way, I feel guilty when I drop them off at someone else's house for piano lessons rather than teaching them myself.
I could make a rather lengthy list. One side would feature the things that I do for convenience that I feel guilty about and the other side would list the things that cause me little, if any guilt. I'll bet I could even rate each item to reflect how guilty (or not) I feel about each one.
But your list would be different.
Assume for a moment that money were not an issue (because otherwise it makes it too easy to argue that you should do everything the hard way, including picking up all the particles of dust off the carpet by hand rather than using a broom and dustpan (like my grandmother used to do) or a vacuum cleaner). What things would you still feel guilty about having something or someone else do for you, even if you could afford it? A Housekeeper? Personal chef? Robot that sweeps your floors? A grocery store that assembles and delivers your order to you rather than you shopping in person? Professional movers rather than lifting boxes yourself? Treadmill rather than running in the great outdoors?
Now, find a friend and try to defend each of the items you listed that you feel guilty about. Use your best arguments, like "my mother always did it that way", or "it is my role", or "why pay someone else when I can do it", or "I need to work harder".
How did you do? Were you convincing in your arguments?
Even when the tradeoff makes sense in terms of what it costs verses what you get, why do you still feel guilty (be sure to consider that both "cost" and "what you get" include things such as time and quality of life, not just money)?
For me, the cost of a vacuum cleaner and the cost to run and maintain it are more than offset by the time savings that allow me to do other things I need or want to do. Why don't I feel the same way about a lawn care service? The big realization is it is a construct of my mind, based on my life experiences, and has little, if anything, to do with the lawn care itself.
Could any of us benefit from considering some of the tradeoffs that may be tied to letting go a few of those "shoulds" or "musts" on our lists? Perhaps it would be worthwhile to re-examine the value of having more time to spend with our families, with friends, furthering our educations, reading a good book, or any of the many other things that so easily suffer in our world of over-scheduling and constant stimulation.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Thoughts on Anniversary
Wedding Anniversary
Precious as desert raindrops
Rarer than sun in wintertime
Soothing as breezy pine tops
Fairer is your's and mine
Steady, our love revolving
Constant despite the stormy days
Ever our love evolving
Dearer in many ways
Looking, the road that lies ahead
Is not so rocky
Is not so turbulent
Together, my one companion
Always until forever comes
May we ever remember
All things that make us one
Copyright 1999 (c). Tim Penrod. All rights reserved.
Precious as desert raindrops
Rarer than sun in wintertime
Soothing as breezy pine tops
Fairer is your's and mine
Steady, our love revolving
Constant despite the stormy days
Ever our love evolving
Dearer in many ways
Looking, the road that lies ahead
Is not so rocky
Is not so turbulent
Together, my one companion
Always until forever comes
May we ever remember
All things that make us one
Copyright 1999 (c). Tim Penrod. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Wisdom of Billy Joel
"Don't be afraid to try again. Everyone goes south every now and then." -- The Stranger
"I look in the mirror and I go: you`re a rock star? It`s funny I don`t look like a rock star, I don`t walk around thinking like a rock star. I`m just this shmegdorf walking around and somebody confronts me and goes BILLY JOEL! and I`m like: Right, I`m that guy." -- Quote
"Now as we indulge in things refined, we hide our hearts from harder times...We'll have to change our jaded ways, but I've loved these days." -- I've Loved These Days
"My silence is my self defense." -- And So It Goes
"So I would choose to be with you. That's if the choice were mine to make. But you can make decisions too, and you can have this heart to break." -- And So It Goes
"I'd start a revolution but I don't have time." -- Close to the Borderline
"I look in the mirror and I go: you`re a rock star? It`s funny I don`t look like a rock star, I don`t walk around thinking like a rock star. I`m just this shmegdorf walking around and somebody confronts me and goes BILLY JOEL! and I`m like: Right, I`m that guy." -- Quote
"Now as we indulge in things refined, we hide our hearts from harder times...We'll have to change our jaded ways, but I've loved these days." -- I've Loved These Days
"My silence is my self defense." -- And So It Goes
"So I would choose to be with you. That's if the choice were mine to make. But you can make decisions too, and you can have this heart to break." -- And So It Goes
"I'd start a revolution but I don't have time." -- Close to the Borderline
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