But how significant are differences in musical taste on marital bliss? I've never read a study on that subject, but musical preferences can definitely be part of the relationship dynamics.
My wife and I share some similarities in musical taste. We both enjoy Chicago, the Beatles (although she is not as fanatic about them as I am), most types of musicals, light classical music (Boston pops type), and oldies music.
But we also have some significant differences in taste:
- She loves Josh Groban. I think his music is clinically depressing and listening to him leaves me feeling emotionally ill. I know he has some talent, but I hate his music for the most part.
- I love music with thought-provoking, subtly-funny and sometimes bizarre lyrics with double or hidden meanings. Some examples: They Might Be Giants, Barenaked Ladies, etc. She, on the other hand, doesn't appear to appreciate the genuius of these bands! :)
- I like the music to be loud enough to hear the different chords, background instruments, etc. even if it is relaxing music. I like writing and playing music, so I really enjoy hearing all the different parts of the structure of a song. She likes the music to be soft and in the background, unless she is exercising.
- We both like music to match our mood...calmer for more relaxing moments and more intense music when cleaning the house, dancing around the home or exercising. But, her version of energizing music is Hannah Montana Soundtracks or Harry Connnick Jr. My style for this type of music is more like Boston, Styx or Def Leppard (although, I have to skip many of D.L.'s songs because they are a bit too much for me as well sometimes).
- She is much more a country music fan than am I. I can tolerate it in smaller doses, especially more modern country, but I'm not about to do a line dance, nor am I likely to break into tears over the storyline in a country song.
(Of course, you could replace music preference above with other small things like brand-name food vs. generic, beliefs about medication and medical care, home school vs. public school, open windows vs. closed, temperature at which to set the thermostat, restaurant preference, or any number of other fun areas).
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My Man and I always go for the same stuff. We're identical in that regard.
But I well remember the very first area we found we are drastically different - I'm more of a get-up-and-go touristy vacationer, while he's a relax-chill-lay-around vacationer.
After much discussion and many years, we now take turns. ;o)
My late husband and I generally agreed on the styles of music and the artists. Our point of tension was the sound level. Like you, he liked it loud, very loud. I, on the other hand can hear quite well and don't need it loud enough to raise the rafters!!! :) The only time I like really loud music is when I'm driving and in a really GREAT mood and it's on a pretty day. Then, and only then, do I enjoy it loud enough to make the fenders jump!
Jesse and I have differing music tastes to a degree. He enjoys things that are a little more "punk" than I do and I am more apt to listen to mellow singers. That being said, we have a large number of artists that we both enjoy. We have learned to love things about the music that we both listen to because they like it. Our differences have become something endearing to each of us.
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