Which side of the successful-marriage recommendation do you take?
a) Never let the sun go down on your anger or bad feelings...if you are having a disagreement or are upset with your spouse, talk it through and make sure you never go to bed angry.
b) Talking about things you are upset over at the end of the day, when you are both very tired, will only make things worse. Instead, let your spouse know that you'd like to talk about it soon (even arrange a time, if possible), but don't add fuel to the fire by trying to resolve it right before bedtime.
About Me
- Square Root of Family
- Tim Penrod, who facilitates this blog, is married to his best friend, Kathy. They are the parents of five children. Tim is also a Marriage and Family Therapist in Arizona and CEO of a family services agency.
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I guess I sit in the middle ground on this one. Terry and I never went to sleep angry at each other, not in ove 33 years of marriage. However, we also did not go to sleep every night with every issue resolved. Some issues just can't be resolved in one evening, but anger can be resolved in one evening if you're both commited to it and to your Lord. What you cannot do as human beings, the Lord can do with you if you allow Him to. There were a lot of times I WANTED to stay angry, and I'm sure there were for Terry as well. However, we voluntarily gave up our anger because we knew how important that act of submission was to a healthly marriage and to a deep respect for what our Lord taught us in His Word. Not being angry, however, does not mean an issue is resolved. Resolution sometimes takes days or weeks, but you don't have to nurture the anger just because you haven't come to agreement.
Definitely B. (Things tend to look much better after a little sleep.)
b. Definitely (also). I agree with Holly, somethings that bother the heck out of me today will be nothing later! Why fight and say things I may regret if I can just back stove it. If I still feel upset or like it needs to be hashed out I'll grab the pot then and dish when the cause of the disagreement is still fresh, just not boiling.
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