Marriage

Which side of the successful-marriage recommendation do you take?

a) Never let the sun go down on your anger or bad feelings...if you are having a disagreement or are upset with your spouse, talk it through and make sure you never go to bed angry.

b) Talking about things you are upset over at the end of the day, when you are both very tired, will only make things worse. Instead, let your spouse know that you'd like to talk about it soon (even arrange a time, if possible), but don't add fuel to the fire by trying to resolve it right before bedtime.

A public service announcement

Title: Have a Happy Day
Music:Wayne Penrod
Lyrics/Vocals: Tim Penrod
(c) Copyright. Tim Penrod. 2000. All rights reserved.

Burning question of the day

You know products that advertise, "Kills 99.9% of germs"? Does that mean that the product kills 99.9% of the various types of germs out there (in other words, it works on all except 0.1% of types of germs in the world), or does it mean that it kills 99.9% of the total germs in the particular area you are cleaning?

What if it kills the type of germ I am trying to clean off of my toilet (thus fitting in to the 99.9% of the types it kills), but it only kills half of them? So, say there are 1,000,000 Germ X on the toilet, and my product does indeed kill Germ X. Am I guaranteed that 99.9% of all the Germ X on my toilet are going to die?

Here is my wife, singing

To the utter embarrassment of my wife, here is a much-requested audio clip of her singing one of the songs that we did for Musical Greetings. Sorry, Dear...it had to be done! :)



Copyright (c) 2000. Tim Penrod. All Rights Reserved.
Title: Happy Brother's Day
Music: Wayne Penrod
Lyrics: Tim Penrod
Vocals: Kathy Penrod

Lyrics:
You've been a brother who could win an award
With you in our life, you know we never were bored

I started crying when you pulled out my hair
Pushed me down the stairs
You know it just wasn't fair

You got the bigger bowl of ice cream each time
You'd call me names and then I'd start whining
All this inspired me to write and to say
"I want to wish you Happy Brother's Day"

I hope you know I wouldn't trade you away
Although we fought and we played, I hope it's always that way
Of all the brothers in the world that could be
A brother you see, you're the best brother to me

Updates on swimming and camping

Since posting about the joys of swimming and camping, numerous readers have kept me updated with facts to help support my conclusions.

One example came a few weeks ago, when a friend sent me this CNN article. Yeah, that is about the most disgusting thing I have heard. Next time your eyes sting, remember that it is not the chlorine!

Another gem to add to the collection: My wife took our children and several others from the neighborhood to a city pool this week for an afternoon of swimming. They came home with a really gross story: a boy at the pool became sick and vomited in the pool. What did they do? Evacuated the pool for 15 minutes while a life guard skimmed out the vomit with a pool net. Then they let everyone back in. Think that got all the germs?

And, finally, while camping recently in the mountains with our church youth group, I decided to outsmart the tent setup problems by bringing a fool-proof 2 man mini tent. It was about 3 feet high by three feet wide by three feet deep. I didn't have any setup problems, but I didn't get any sleep either. My head poked out one side of the tent while my feet poked out the other. And the condensation from the mountain overnight dew kept me moist and cold all night long. I think I need to sign up for camping lessons!

Go Kyle

I'll call him 'Kyle' for this posting in order to keep it confidential, but that is not his real name. I met him about five years ago. He was a teenager, living at a group home because he had behavioral difficulties. The group home had a point system tied to behavior, and Kyle was on the lowest level. The report was that he refused to go to school, picked on the other young men at the group home, and lost his temper, causing fights.

After hearing this report, I expected to see a hardened criminal. Instead, Kyle turned out to be the kind of guy that makes you want to like him. He was soft-spoken and gentle, although needed a lot of attention. He told me about all the things he loves to do and how, since being at the group home, he had not been able to do any of them. He wanted to go hiking, camping, fishing, play sports, go to the library and listen the music that he liked. Not too different from any other boy his age. I was surprised to learn that it was the absence of a family, not his behavior, that got him placed in the group home to begin with. His family decided they didn't want him anymore one day, turned him over to the state and moved far away. Kyle still believed and hoped they were coming back for him, and kept several mementos of his parents and siblings.

Turned out that while they did call once in a while, they had no intention of coming to visit or ever taking him back. Kyle had some minor physical and emotional disabilities and they did not feel they were able to handle them. They had tried to obtain help before unsuccessfully, and finally, they gave up.

I wish the story had an ending that included Kyle being reunited with his family. It doesn't. But it does have a different sort of happy ending, where Kyle, with support services in the community, was able to leave the group home and move to and independent living environment that helped him do some of the things he loved to do and helped him learn to take care of himself and be a part of the community. The behavior problems went away nearly instantly. He didn't need traditional counseling services, medication or any other traditional interventions. He just needed a chance to make some choices, do things he enjoyed, connect with his community and surround himself with people who believed in him and wouldn't give up on him. Turns out hiking and fishing, as long as not part of some type of boot camp, are great therapy for the soul.

It has been a few years since I have seen Kyle, but I just ran into him again this week. He is living on his own now in an apartment. Takes public transportation or rides his bike to where he needs to go. Gets a steady paycheck each month. Visits friends and neighbors regularly. And has not been in any trouble at all since living on his own.

I think back to when I first met Kyle and wonder what would have happened if things hadn't changed courses. Would he have ever finished school? Would he have ever gotten out of group homes and institutions? Would he be living independently today? Would he still be sitting there waiting for his family to come visit? I guess we'll never know for sure, but I am glad today that Kyle is happy and living on his own. Go Kyle!